We grow up being taught, do not judge others; especially if you’re raised in a Christian home. It’s not our place to judge, as that is left up to God. So why is it that the person we often judge the most is our own self? If we’re not meant to judge others, does that give us a right to bend the rule (or flat out ignore it) when we look internally?
Comparison Made Me Do It
I’m sure I’ve judged myself throughout my life, but it’s been since I’ve become a mom that I was more aware of what I was doing. Have you heard the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy?” So much truth, but I’ve found that when I compare my life to someone else, I am often also judging myself. What have I not figured out about mothering that they have? Where am I lacking in communication with my spouse that they aren’t with theirs? Why am I not pursuing God better and hearing His voice more clearly as they do? The questions are endless & can change day to day.
Here is another problem with this thought process, it doesn’t stop there. It starts with a little comparison, leads to self-judgment, & lands us in a big pile of feeling worthless. What started as one thing drives us straight into a lowered self-value. You do this enough, and before long you see no value in your own life. You suddenly just exist; going through the motions.
What I’m Learning
I’m learning (as this is still an ongoing life lesson) that my value cannot be & is not based on the standards I’ve set for other people. Seeing my value this way causes thoughts like:
- Their kids are doing better in an area of life than mine. Which must mean I’m not as good of a mom.
- I see their marriage as thriving & suddenly I feel less than as a wife.
- I view their walk with Christ as more intimate & I instantly question why I’m not a better Christian.
All screaming at me, “You’re Not Good Enough!”
Now the truth is, I’m not good enough on my own. I need the Father. But, He’s not the one saying “You’re Not Good Enough.” I am. And He’s a Father who never wants His children to be so unkind to themselves. He’s a forgiving Father, a compassionate Father, a guiding Father. He is loving in all His ways.
Choose Not to Judge
The next time you find yourself questioning what “they” have that you don’t, stop! You aren’t them. Your life isn’t theirs. We can’t choose to not judge others, but justify judging our own self. I’m not saying to not self-evaluate, but there is a difference in that and allowing your self-worth to dwindle because your life doesn’t mimic someone else’s.
You are valuable…You are important…You are here for a reason
Choose to love yourself today. Decide to throw comparison & judgment to the wind. Shift your focus to God & who He created you to be. You aren’t a mistake. There is a purpose for your life & it’s not to be anyone else, but you. So go do it…Be You – amazing, unique, one of a kind, YOU!
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